🎩 A Word from Captain Moonboot
The Department of Sandwich Engineering at World Headquarters has been investigating a troubling question: Why must a perfectly good sandwich remain neatly contained between two pieces of bread?
Captain Moonboot maintains that some of the finest meals in history have required additional napkins.
Enter the Sloppy Joe.
A generous helping of seasoned ground beef simmered in a rich, sweet-and-tangy tomato sauce, piled onto a toasted hamburger bun. It's inexpensive, wonderfully messy and tastes considerably better than anything poured from a can.
The Missus appreciates that supper can be ready in about 35 minutes.
Captain Moonboot appreciates that leftovers taste even better the next day.
And Toad has expressed considerable interest in the word sloppy, believing it may indicate an increased probability of food reaching the kitchen floor.
Management has declined to comment.
⏱️ Recipe Information
Servings: 4–6 sandwiches
Preparation Time: 10 minutes
Cooking Time: 25 minutes
Total Time: 35 minutes
🥘 Ingredients
For the Sloppy Joe filling:
- 1 pound (450 g) lean ground beef
- 1 medium yellow onion, finely diced
- 1 small green bell pepper, finely diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- ¾ cup tomato sauce
- ¼ cup ketchup
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
- 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
- 1 tablespoon brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon yellow mustard
- ½ teaspoon smoked paprika
- ½ teaspoon chili powder
- ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- ¼ cup water or beef broth
- Salt, to taste
For serving:
- 4–6 hamburger buns
- 1 tablespoon butter, for toasting
- Sliced dill pickles (optional)
- Shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
- Homemade coleslaw (optional)
👨🍳 Instructions
1. Prepare the vegetables
Finely dice the onion and green pepper.
Mince the garlic.
Keep the vegetables relatively small so they blend into the meat mixture rather than creating large chunks.
2. Brown the ground beef
Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.
Add the ground beef and cook for approximately 5–7 minutes, breaking it into small pieces with a wooden spoon.
Continue until the beef is fully browned and no pink remains.
Drain any excess grease.
3. Add the vegetables
Add the diced onion and green pepper to the skillet.
Cook for approximately 4–5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables begin to soften.
Add the minced garlic and cook for another 30 seconds.
4. Build the sauce
Reduce the heat to medium.
Stir in the tomato paste and cook for approximately 1 minute.
Add the tomato sauce, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, mustard, smoked paprika, chili powder, black pepper and water or broth.
Stir thoroughly until everything is combined.
5. Simmer until thick
Reduce the heat to medium-low.
Simmer uncovered for approximately 10–12 minutes, stirring occasionally.
The sauce should gradually thicken and coat the ground beef.
If the mixture becomes too thick, add a splash of water.
If it's too thin, continue simmering uncovered for another few minutes.
Taste and adjust the seasoning.
6. Toast the hamburger buns
Lightly butter the cut sides of the hamburger buns.
Place them cut-side down in a clean skillet over medium heat.
Toast for approximately 1–2 minutes until lightly golden.
Toasting helps prevent the buns from becoming soggy beneath the sauce.
7. Assemble the sandwiches
Place the bottom halves of the toasted buns on serving plates.
Spoon a generous helping of Sloppy Joe filling onto each bun.
Add sliced dill pickles or shredded cheddar cheese if desired.
Place the top halves of the buns over the filling.
Serve immediately, accompanied by an unreasonable quantity of napkins.
🌟 Captain Moonboot's Kitchen Notes
Make it economical: Ground beef goes further when combined with finely diced vegetables. For an even more economical version, replace half the beef with cooked brown lentils.
Make it lighter: Substitute lean ground turkey or chicken. Cook ground poultry thoroughly to 165°F (74°C).
Reduce the sugar: Omit the brown sugar and choose ketchup with no added sugar. The onions and tomato sauce provide some natural sweetness.
Make it spicy: Add a pinch of cayenne pepper, a few dashes of hot sauce or finely diced jalapeño.
Add extra vegetables: Finely grated carrots or chopped mushrooms blend nicely into the sauce and stretch the filling further.
Make it cheesy: Sprinkle shredded sharp cheddar over the hot filling and allow it to melt before adding the top bun.
Try it without a bun: Serve the filling over a baked potato, rice or mashed cauliflower for a different meal.
Make ahead: Prepare the filling up to two days in advance. The flavours develop nicely as it rests in the refrigerator.
Leftovers: Refrigerate promptly in an airtight container for 3–4 days. Reheat thoroughly before serving.
Freezing: Freeze the cooled filling in meal-sized portions for up to 3 months. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator before reheating.
🍽️ Captain Moonboot's Serving Suggestion
For a proper World HQ supper, serve these Sloppy Joes with Recipe #28: Sweet & Tangy Apple-Cabbage Coleslaw and a handful of oven-baked potato wedges.
The crisp, slightly sweet coleslaw provides an excellent contrast to the rich tomato sauce.
Alternatively, serve with dill pickles and a simple green salad.
Captain Moonboot recommends placing the sandwich directly over the plate before taking the first bite.
Previous experiments have demonstrated that Sloppy Joe filling does not respond favourably to gravity.
🚨 WORLD HQ EDITORIAL NOTICE
The Department of Sandwich Engineering has officially approved Recipe #29 for inclusion in Making Salsa: Recipes & Other Bad Decisions from Captain Moonboot.
Following extensive testing, the Department has determined that a properly constructed Sloppy Joe should contain enough filling to threaten the structural integrity of the hamburger bun.
Captain Moonboot has recommended reinforcing the bun with additional cheese.
The Missus has suggested using less filling.
Her proposal has been referred to the Department of Unpopular Suggestions.
Meanwhile, Toad has submitted an application for the newly created position of Director of Floor-Level Food Recovery.
Her qualifications include exceptional eyesight, rapid response times and extensive experience locating edible material beneath kitchen furniture.
Management has acknowledged her impressive résumé but reminds all household personnel that the seasoned Sloppy Joe filling contains onions and garlic, both of which are toxic to dogs.
Toad has subsequently requested that a separate, unseasoned beef allocation be included in future production budgets.
Captain Moonboot has agreed to review the proposal.
The Missus has pointed out that Toad already receives perfectly good dog food.
Toad considers this information irrelevant to the proceedings.
Recipe #29 is officially ready for the World HQ cookbook! 🍔🥒